Paolo, you’ve mentioned that overthinking often serves as a coping mechanism to avoid pain. Can you elaborate on this idea?

Overthinking—the mental hamster wheel, spinning endlessly, trying to map out every scenario, predict every outcome, avoid every mistake. You know the drill: analyzing, dissecting, turning something over in your mind until it’s stripped of all its rawness and left as a lifeless, overcooked idea. We’ve all been there. But let me tell you, overthinking isn’t about being careful or responsible. It’s not about making “better” decisions. No, overthinking is a coping mechanism, a desperate attempt to shield ourselves from pain, from the discomfort of the unknown.

See, at its core, overthinking is driven by fear. It’s our mind’s way of trying to gain control in a world where control is just an illusion. We overthink because we’re terrified of making the wrong choice, of putting ourselves out there and getting hurt, of failing and having to face that gut-punch reality. It’s like our brains create these complex labyrinths of thought, hoping that if we just think long and hard enough, we can avoid any future suffering.

But here’s the paradox: overthinking doesn’t protect us from pain. It creates it. It chains us in a loop of self-doubt and paralysis, making us suffer the consequences of decisions we haven’t even made yet. We imagine every worst-case scenario, and in doing so, we rob ourselves of living fully. We stay stuck, trying to outthink the pain instead of just facing life as it comes, raw and real.

Overthinking gives us a false sense of security. We think, If I just analyze this one more time, I’ll feel certain. I’ll be ready. But the reality? Life doesn’t work that way. No amount of thinking can eliminate risk, no amount of mental gymnastics can guarantee you’ll never be hurt or disappointed. The truth is, overthinking keeps you in a holding pattern, safe in a cocoon of indecision but missing out on the beauty and chaos of actually living.

Think about it: how many opportunities have we missed because we were busy overanalyzing? How many moments slipped through our fingers while we were trying to make the “perfect” choice? Overthinking becomes a barrier, a way to stay comfortable, even if that comfort is a prison built from anxiety and what-ifs.

The alternative isn’t recklessness; it’s trusting yourself. It’s learning to sit with the uncertainty, to understand that pain is a part of life, not something to be avoided at all costs. Pain teaches, pain transforms, pain shapes us into who we are meant to become. Instead of overthinking, we need to develop the courage to take action, to make decisions with our whole hearts and know that even if things don’t go as planned, we will adapt, we will grow.

Overthinking is about fear, but life is about feeling. It’s about embracing the mess, the imperfections, the failures. Because only when we stop trying to outthink pain can we truly experience the thrill, the wonder, the vibrancy of being alive. So, let go of the illusion of safety that overthinking offers. It’s time to leap, to act, to trust that whatever comes, you’re strong enough to handle it. Because, my friend, you are. Always have been. Always will be.